Sleep over it

When I was younger I gave a premium to sleeping well; because I wanted to be smart...hold on let me explain. There was this book entitled "Doctors" written by Erich Segal telling the individual stories of a group of...well...doctors. The smartest one was "Seth" who does not do overnight studies. He sleeps early on the day before the exam. Or on any day at all.

Now you may be asking, "You're following an idea based on a fictional book?" Hey, just because something was present in fiction literature doesn't mean the idea in itself is fictional. It's not like you can re-write all the rules -- even in fiction soda is still not beer, and the sun still rises in the east. Of course there are fiction that re-write a lot of rules, but this book was not one of those. But now we are starting to digress, so just let it go...

I've been losing sleep anyway starting from college as I try to uphold to programmer/hacker persona. Plus it is easier to program when nobody is at your back able to watch you while you do your porn break. Plus the chicks are online in irc only at night (mirc was the facebook back then).

But whenever I face a very tough problem, my body somehow just auto shuts down and I become very sleepy regularly. Now some might argue it was depression but I think it was because my brain just wanted to concentrate on the problem and did not need the distractions of this thing called...life.

And I always solve the problems after getting several hours of sleep. It's like studying unconsciously. (Side note: People sleeping around I guess were not horny, they just were just doing group study. I wish I was such a studious person.)

There must be really something into dreaming. Which was why King Solomon (let's stop the debate for a moment whether he and his line was fictional or not) went for a dream.

Just last night I've once again discovered the solution to a software design problem; in my sleep. Previous times I've solved programming problems, come up with decryption algorithms, figure out a video game puzzle, heck even discover the key Chess and Go moves of the games I was reviewing.

I even googled this phenomenon to see if I was the only person seeing this, and found that I'm not. Scientists even somewhat conclude that this is very plausible:

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/04/22/learning-while-you-dream/
http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/news/20041223/dreams-can-solve-problems

Okay now that I think I'm into something, I should:

1. ask to get paid more as I am working even in my sleep.
2. Advocate sleeping at work (and have it called brain storming)
3. figure out my life (again). Dreaming of setting up computer servers and writing software might indicate that there is something fundamentally wrong somewhere. Shouldn't I be dreaming of Ana Ivanovic, Megan Fox, and Jennifer Grey (yeah, I'd tap that)?

Oh I just remembered, there was one dream where I had a hot pornstar girlfriend...but let me save that for another blog post.

My fantasy #1

I'm flying first class on a Cathay Pacific flight to France, except the flight attendants are the young beautiful dancing FA's of Cebu Pacific (but interestingly all are cute chinitas), when suddenly the plane's computer has been hacked by some rogue Chinese teenagers; and the pilot then announces, "Is there a reverse engineer on the plane?" And then I say, "I am a reverse engineer. Step aside, and witness." I perform an on the field computer surgery, carefully dissecting as I explore broken internals and failing software organs. Prying and prying until I find and kill the offending pathogen; and with my metaphorical apple I feed the system back to life. Caressing the carbon fiber chassis as if they were wonderful bosoms left unattended too long; softly whispering, as if giving the breath of life to a dying woman -- who btw looks like Ana Ivanovic. And as I hear the frozen heart of an 8-core i7 CPU churn back to life I gently touch her screen, nay her face, who greeted me with such a wonderful picture of a smile: Linux Mint 9 (Isadora). Isadora...such a beautiful name. And with her emerald eyes we are caught in a trance...broken only be the realization that we are blissfully alive!

I save the day, everyone cheers, and the Miss Universe contestants who were coincidentally also on the plane belly dance to Shakira's "Hips don't lie".

Closest Encounter with Jupiter until 2022

http://science.nasa.gov/science-news/science-at-nasa/2010/15sep_jupiter/

Bring out your telescopes midnight of the 20th-21st.
You might already be dead when this happens again.

Let make this 21st midnight of September something to remember ;)
Well I don't know whether it is the 20th or the 21st...but you know, I had to associate it to a song.

Major events in my life...?

20 years ago: Someone circumcised me. That hurt but they say I will go to hell if I won't get with the program.

16 years ago: I graduated from Elementary. I thought I did not get a medal but my teacher told me she forgot to mention it. But only after I got scolded at home.

14 years ago: I was partnered with my crush in a Values project. That year was a demonstration of puppy love: Math quiz bee, Chess medals. I was still under pressure to bring home those circular metals.

12: years ago. Graduated from high school. Nothing special except I've started delving deep into existential nihilism. Well there was this one play that made me famous for a month -- which for a while there got me thinking I might have a future in acting (or rather, looking stupid on-stage or on camera)
My first girl friend was from the internet. I was pretty modern I guess, since now online dating is the craze.

10 years ago: I fell so madly in love I literally almost died (well killed myself that is)

8 years ago: I graduated from college without any serious academic achievement except pissing my professors off since I come to class with only a pen and paper..and lots of philosophy to boot. I thought it was fun back then to play the rebel genius anti-hero persona. Got everything right except the genius part.
I also got to see Hong Kong and all those rich chinitas.

7 years ago: I joined TrendMicro and it's hellish training. It was one of the best times of my life.

5 years ago: I finally got to see THE America. It was anti-climactic.

4 years ago: I finally got to see NASA!!! It was amazing.

2 years ago: I moved to another company. The decision made me better and fatter (literally and figuratively). It was also an amazing year in meeting someone. Too bad I was not able to mate. :P Let me get away with the chess terminology

1 year ago: Saw Geneva. Just okay.

And here we are...moved to Florida and all...shucks it seems I've still done so little. I thought I was gonna be someone well-accomplished by now.

Re-focus. Re-commit. To the childhood dreams of old.

"Stay hungry, stay foolish".

Beauty and Madness.

Beauty dies when gazed upon too long. Ironic. Or is it rather poetic? How the achievement of one's purpose of being becomes the death of it.

Been living in a very nice place, with gorgeous sunsets which still are...but aren't.

My agnostic rant.

I remember the first time I saw the pic at this link:
http://www.flatrock.org.nz/topics/odds_and_oddities/ultimate_in_unfair.htm

I am as pissed now as I was a pissed then. It's just so...wrong.

*rant warning!*

Tell me why, why should I believe in the one you claim to be giving redemption? The one who also has condemned me into oblivion...for simply being born. The one who also finds me guilty for simply being the way you claim he created me to be -- an imperfect, chubby but cute, human being. Who's like the Mafia asking for "protection" money -- if you pay I won't break your bones. I will go to hell -- unless I believe.... Oh yeah and you conveniently forget to mention that hell is where all those sinful hot women end up in.

:/

The Imperfect Perfect Guy

This is primarily in response to a blog post that a girl I like wrote in response to the question "What kind of guy are you looking for?" -- I asked the question btw.

It turns out I am not so qualified, and with me being far away and all that it seems mine is a hopeless case. Another "friend lang" :D. But I wanted to make some comments and maybe present my case (magpaliwanag sa baranggay ika nga)...and I figured the best way to do it is through a similar process of applying for a job.

So here it goes:

Dear Madam:

It has come to my attention that there is an opening for a "Perfect Guy" position and I am very interested. I am not that experienced (most of the positions I handled were temps such as "Meantime Boy", "Gym buddy/Slave", "Friend WITHOUT Benefits", "MU + Textmate + Kuya") but am very motivated and very willing learn if you show me the ropes.

On the specifics of the requirements:

1. Godly. Well, I am an agnostic so I don't believe in the God as presented by the Bible, Koran, Talmud. But this doesn't mean that I live a "god-less" life. I have a great respect and amazement for life, and I make it a point to be at peace with other people. If you let me, I will love you faithfully and persistently. My love will never be perfect, but this does not hinder me to strive for a perfect love - of being patient, and kind, and not harboring a list of wrongs. Of always hoping, persevering and being able to forgive. Of living to a standard that says love never fails. I will fail on everything else, but not on doing everything I can to love you with all that I am.

2. Generous. As a man, I see it and happily accept the duty of providing for my family. It's an awkward question for some people, but I see it as something that should be asked. I will take care of you (not in the DOM way -- "papaaralin kita iha"), that I promise. And I will not undertake activities that will hinder my ability in providing for you and our family.

3. Genius. Well...I don't want to brag but.... Okay okay :D Some changes in perspective had made me to always want to give the best in what I do, in as creative of a way as I can. As a person I just see that life should be lived that way. And relationships too. Genius really is just common sense and persistence...as Einstein would say, "I am not the smartest, I just stayed on the problem longer".

4. Good looking. Patay tayo dyan. Este...pano ba...beauty is in the eye of the beholder :). Give me some time and soon you will succumb to the acquired taste that is prankoyz :P

5. Family background. Well I have a good family I think -- well there's a crazy uncle and auntie or two but I think they will just love you. I come from a broken family though that had just recently started to heal, but having to undergo through that process I think I am more determined that others in keeping the family we make together intact.

So...how about a chance?

Losing is sometimes also gaining

There was a poem in high school which I now barely remember, but the main story was about a man who finally got to appreciate the stars after his roof got blown away (or got burnt down).

Mindanao, where I am from has been suffering from scheduled black-outs due to insufficient power supply. However, I've realized that I've never stared at the moon as often nor as long in such a long long while.

Respect

Respect. It was, and often still is, a contentious issue that arises over certain conflicts concerning the equality (or superiority) of one concept over another. Man vs woman, black vs white, strength vs intelligence. Belief vs unbelief. The list goes on.

It has been a well accepted notion (though a blatant misconception) that respect arises only between equals -- and a tribute of the weak to the strong. Indeed it is easy to respect something you cannot (easily) overcome -- the sun, Mt. Everest, Michael Jordan...the Pacific. Conversely, man (okay...and woman) it seems is pre-dispositioned to abuse something that he thinks is inferior to him -- slaves, pets...nature...newbies in Mafia wars.

Only when respect is borne out of personal conviction that it is truly shared between complementing unequals.