People prefer to say quotable phrases with artfully stretched truths (i.e. subtle lies). Wit is more valuable than honesty. Humor more appealing than frankness. Most claim they prefer the truth, but not really...they just want you to quote them on that.
So how about we get over it already and be more honest with ourselves?
...someone has to be the Devil's Advocate.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Bill Gates and Steve Jobs
The greater part of the generation of my circle of the world was dominated by two figures:
Steve Jobs and Bill Gates.
Steve Jobs' story is something you could get from an epic fantasy novel depicting the tale of a small hero taking on the Goliaths of his time, and succeeded. And himself turn into an antagonist and was dramatically taken down. As the hero he will embark on a quest of self-discovery and a mere 10 years later he is once again riding on top of the world and will do so ever since.
His story is dramatic in part to the way he tells it...arrogant but alluring which makes him both well-hated and well-loved.
Bill Gates' story some would say is a boring management book. There were some questions to the ethics by which he achieved things -- by employing methods well accepted in business but abhorred when you are very good at it. His story was plain boring and his rise to the top was methodical and straight forward. Almost everybody who never achieved what he has hated him -- although deep inside it was a manifestation of envy for who does not want success?
Over 3 decades since they have started, it still amazes me how much their impact is in our world today. Steve Jobs' second act was magical and he seems to conjure magical products all the time.
Bill Gates seems to be more low key since focusing on the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation -- but is solving some key human problems that no iPhone could (okay..maybe there's an app "Save the world" that I don't know of). The foundation's research into solving hunger, diseases, and education are very appealing and noble efforts that are changing the world every day also.
The Khan Academy (http://www.khanacademy.org) that he is supporting seems to be one of the great best things that happened to human civilization from my point of view.
Of course I have to dramatize for Bill since he presents it and his life in a very boring manner.
Amazing how these two men have achieved and contributed so much. I wonder how they will be looked at 100 years from now -- I hope on the same pedestal as Einstein, Edison, and Pamela Anderson (who stole my innocence and youth!)
Steve Jobs and Bill Gates.
Steve Jobs' story is something you could get from an epic fantasy novel depicting the tale of a small hero taking on the Goliaths of his time, and succeeded. And himself turn into an antagonist and was dramatically taken down. As the hero he will embark on a quest of self-discovery and a mere 10 years later he is once again riding on top of the world and will do so ever since.
His story is dramatic in part to the way he tells it...arrogant but alluring which makes him both well-hated and well-loved.
Bill Gates' story some would say is a boring management book. There were some questions to the ethics by which he achieved things -- by employing methods well accepted in business but abhorred when you are very good at it. His story was plain boring and his rise to the top was methodical and straight forward. Almost everybody who never achieved what he has hated him -- although deep inside it was a manifestation of envy for who does not want success?
Over 3 decades since they have started, it still amazes me how much their impact is in our world today. Steve Jobs' second act was magical and he seems to conjure magical products all the time.
Bill Gates seems to be more low key since focusing on the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation -- but is solving some key human problems that no iPhone could (okay..maybe there's an app "Save the world" that I don't know of). The foundation's research into solving hunger, diseases, and education are very appealing and noble efforts that are changing the world every day also.
The Khan Academy (http://www.khanacademy.org) that he is supporting seems to be one of the great best things that happened to human civilization from my point of view.
Of course I have to dramatize for Bill since he presents it and his life in a very boring manner.
Amazing how these two men have achieved and contributed so much. I wonder how they will be looked at 100 years from now -- I hope on the same pedestal as Einstein, Edison, and Pamela Anderson (who stole my innocence and youth!)
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Sleep over it
When I was younger I gave a premium to sleeping well; because I wanted to be smart...hold on let me explain. There was this book entitled "Doctors" written by Erich Segal telling the individual stories of a group of...well...doctors. The smartest one was "Seth" who does not do overnight studies. He sleeps early on the day before the exam. Or on any day at all.
Now you may be asking, "You're following an idea based on a fictional book?" Hey, just because something was present in fiction literature doesn't mean the idea in itself is fictional. It's not like you can re-write all the rules -- even in fiction soda is still not beer, and the sun still rises in the east. Of course there are fiction that re-write a lot of rules, but this book was not one of those. But now we are starting to digress, so just let it go...
I've been losing sleep anyway starting from college as I try to uphold to programmer/hacker persona. Plus it is easier to program when nobody is at your back able to watch you while you do your porn break. Plus the chicks are online in irc only at night (mirc was the facebook back then).
But whenever I face a very tough problem, my body somehow just auto shuts down and I become very sleepy regularly. Now some might argue it was depression but I think it was because my brain just wanted to concentrate on the problem and did not need the distractions of this thing called...life.
And I always solve the problems after getting several hours of sleep. It's like studying unconsciously. (Side note: People sleeping around I guess were not horny, they just were just doing group study. I wish I was such a studious person.)
There must be really something into dreaming. Which was why King Solomon (let's stop the debate for a moment whether he and his line was fictional or not) went for a dream.
Just last night I've once again discovered the solution to a software design problem; in my sleep. Previous times I've solved programming problems, come up with decryption algorithms, figure out a video game puzzle, heck even discover the key Chess and Go moves of the games I was reviewing.
I even googled this phenomenon to see if I was the only person seeing this, and found that I'm not. Scientists even somewhat conclude that this is very plausible:
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/04/22/learning-while-you-dream/
http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/news/20041223/dreams-can-solve-problems
Okay now that I think I'm into something, I should:
1. ask to get paid more as I am working even in my sleep.
2. Advocate sleeping at work (and have it called brain storming)
3. figure out my life (again). Dreaming of setting up computer servers and writing software might indicate that there is something fundamentally wrong somewhere. Shouldn't I be dreaming of Ana Ivanovic, Megan Fox, and Jennifer Grey (yeah, I'd tap that)?
Oh I just remembered, there was one dream where I had a hot pornstar girlfriend...but let me save that for another blog post.
Now you may be asking, "You're following an idea based on a fictional book?" Hey, just because something was present in fiction literature doesn't mean the idea in itself is fictional. It's not like you can re-write all the rules -- even in fiction soda is still not beer, and the sun still rises in the east. Of course there are fiction that re-write a lot of rules, but this book was not one of those. But now we are starting to digress, so just let it go...
I've been losing sleep anyway starting from college as I try to uphold to programmer/hacker persona. Plus it is easier to program when nobody is at your back able to watch you while you do your porn break. Plus the chicks are online in irc only at night (mirc was the facebook back then).
But whenever I face a very tough problem, my body somehow just auto shuts down and I become very sleepy regularly. Now some might argue it was depression but I think it was because my brain just wanted to concentrate on the problem and did not need the distractions of this thing called...life.
And I always solve the problems after getting several hours of sleep. It's like studying unconsciously. (Side note: People sleeping around I guess were not horny, they just were just doing group study. I wish I was such a studious person.)
There must be really something into dreaming. Which was why King Solomon (let's stop the debate for a moment whether he and his line was fictional or not) went for a dream.
Just last night I've once again discovered the solution to a software design problem; in my sleep. Previous times I've solved programming problems, come up with decryption algorithms, figure out a video game puzzle, heck even discover the key Chess and Go moves of the games I was reviewing.
I even googled this phenomenon to see if I was the only person seeing this, and found that I'm not. Scientists even somewhat conclude that this is very plausible:
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/04/22/learning-while-you-dream/
http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/news/20041223/dreams-can-solve-problems
Okay now that I think I'm into something, I should:
1. ask to get paid more as I am working even in my sleep.
2. Advocate sleeping at work (and have it called brain storming)
3. figure out my life (again). Dreaming of setting up computer servers and writing software might indicate that there is something fundamentally wrong somewhere. Shouldn't I be dreaming of Ana Ivanovic, Megan Fox, and Jennifer Grey (yeah, I'd tap that)?
Oh I just remembered, there was one dream where I had a hot pornstar girlfriend...but let me save that for another blog post.
Friday, October 22, 2010
My fantasy #1
I'm flying first class on a Cathay Pacific flight to France, except the flight attendants are the young beautiful dancing FA's of Cebu Pacific (but interestingly all are cute chinitas), when suddenly the plane's computer has been hacked by some rogue Chinese teenagers; and the pilot then announces, "Is there a reverse engineer on the plane?" And then I say, "I am a reverse engineer. Step aside, and witness." I perform an on the field computer surgery, carefully dissecting as I explore broken internals and failing software organs. Prying and prying until I find and kill the offending pathogen; and with my metaphorical apple I feed the system back to life. Caressing the carbon fiber chassis as if they were wonderful bosoms left unattended too long; softly whispering, as if giving the breath of life to a dying woman -- who btw looks like Ana Ivanovic. And as I hear the frozen heart of an 8-core i7 CPU churn back to life I gently touch her screen, nay her face, who greeted me with such a wonderful picture of a smile: Linux Mint 9 (Isadora). Isadora...such a beautiful name. And with her emerald eyes we are caught in a trance...broken only be the realization that we are blissfully alive!
I save the day, everyone cheers, and the Miss Universe contestants who were coincidentally also on the plane belly dance to Shakira's "Hips don't lie".
I save the day, everyone cheers, and the Miss Universe contestants who were coincidentally also on the plane belly dance to Shakira's "Hips don't lie".
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Closest Encounter with Jupiter until 2022
http://science.nasa.gov/science-news/science-at-nasa/2010/15sep_jupiter/
Bring out your telescopes midnight of the 20th-21st.
You might already be dead when this happens again.
Let make this 21st midnight of September something to remember ;)
Well I don't know whether it is the 20th or the 21st...but you know, I had to associate it to a song.
Bring out your telescopes midnight of the 20th-21st.
You might already be dead when this happens again.
Let make this 21st midnight of September something to remember ;)
Well I don't know whether it is the 20th or the 21st...but you know, I had to associate it to a song.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Major events in my life...?
20 years ago: Someone circumcised me. That hurt but they say I will go to hell if I won't get with the program.
16 years ago: I graduated from Elementary. I thought I did not get a medal but my teacher told me she forgot to mention it. But only after I got scolded at home.
14 years ago: I was partnered with my crush in a Values project. That year was a demonstration of puppy love: Math quiz bee, Chess medals. I was still under pressure to bring home those circular metals.
12: years ago. Graduated from high school. Nothing special except I've started delving deep into existential nihilism. Well there was this one play that made me famous for a month -- which for a while there got me thinking I might have a future in acting (or rather, looking stupid on-stage or on camera)
My first girl friend was from the internet. I was pretty modern I guess, since now online dating is the craze.
10 years ago: I fell so madly in love I literally almost died (well killed myself that is)
8 years ago: I graduated from college without any serious academic achievement except pissing my professors off since I come to class with only a pen and paper..and lots of philosophy to boot. I thought it was fun back then to play the rebel genius anti-hero persona. Got everything right except the genius part.
I also got to see Hong Kong and all those rich chinitas.
7 years ago: I joined TrendMicro and it's hellish training. It was one of the best times of my life.
5 years ago: I finally got to see THE America. It was anti-climactic.
4 years ago: I finally got to see NASA!!! It was amazing.
2 years ago: I moved to another company. The decision made me better and fatter (literally and figuratively). It was also an amazing year in meeting someone. Too bad I was not able to mate. :P Let me get away with the chess terminology
1 year ago: Saw Geneva. Just okay.
And here we are...moved to Florida and all...shucks it seems I've still done so little. I thought I was gonna be someone well-accomplished by now.
Re-focus. Re-commit. To the childhood dreams of old.
"Stay hungry, stay foolish".
16 years ago: I graduated from Elementary. I thought I did not get a medal but my teacher told me she forgot to mention it. But only after I got scolded at home.
14 years ago: I was partnered with my crush in a Values project. That year was a demonstration of puppy love: Math quiz bee, Chess medals. I was still under pressure to bring home those circular metals.
12: years ago. Graduated from high school. Nothing special except I've started delving deep into existential nihilism. Well there was this one play that made me famous for a month -- which for a while there got me thinking I might have a future in acting (or rather, looking stupid on-stage or on camera)
My first girl friend was from the internet. I was pretty modern I guess, since now online dating is the craze.
10 years ago: I fell so madly in love I literally almost died (well killed myself that is)
8 years ago: I graduated from college without any serious academic achievement except pissing my professors off since I come to class with only a pen and paper..and lots of philosophy to boot. I thought it was fun back then to play the rebel genius anti-hero persona. Got everything right except the genius part.
I also got to see Hong Kong and all those rich chinitas.
7 years ago: I joined TrendMicro and it's hellish training. It was one of the best times of my life.
5 years ago: I finally got to see THE America. It was anti-climactic.
4 years ago: I finally got to see NASA!!! It was amazing.
2 years ago: I moved to another company. The decision made me better and fatter (literally and figuratively). It was also an amazing year in meeting someone. Too bad I was not able to mate. :P Let me get away with the chess terminology
1 year ago: Saw Geneva. Just okay.
And here we are...moved to Florida and all...shucks it seems I've still done so little. I thought I was gonna be someone well-accomplished by now.
Re-focus. Re-commit. To the childhood dreams of old.
"Stay hungry, stay foolish".
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Beauty and Madness.
Beauty dies when gazed upon too long. Ironic. Or is it rather poetic? How the achievement of one's purpose of being becomes the death of it.
Been living in a very nice place, with gorgeous sunsets which still are...but aren't.
Been living in a very nice place, with gorgeous sunsets which still are...but aren't.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
My agnostic rant.
I remember the first time I saw the pic at this link:
http://www.flatrock.org.nz/topics/odds_and_oddities/ultimate_in_unfair.htm
I am as pissed now as I was a pissed then. It's just so...wrong.
*rant warning!*
Tell me why, why should I believe in the one you claim to be giving redemption? The one who also has condemned me into oblivion...for simply being born. The one who also finds me guilty for simply being the way you claim he created me to be -- an imperfect, chubby but cute, human being. Who's like the Mafia asking for "protection" money -- if you pay I won't break your bones. I will go to hell -- unless I believe.... Oh yeah and you conveniently forget to mention that hell is where all those sinful hot women end up in.
:/
http://www.flatrock.org.nz/topics/odds_and_oddities/ultimate_in_unfair.htm
I am as pissed now as I was a pissed then. It's just so...wrong.
*rant warning!*
Tell me why, why should I believe in the one you claim to be giving redemption? The one who also has condemned me into oblivion...for simply being born. The one who also finds me guilty for simply being the way you claim he created me to be -- an imperfect, chubby but cute, human being. Who's like the Mafia asking for "protection" money -- if you pay I won't break your bones. I will go to hell -- unless I believe.... Oh yeah and you conveniently forget to mention that hell is where all those sinful hot women end up in.
:/
Saturday, June 19, 2010
The Imperfect Perfect Guy
This is primarily in response to a blog post that a girl I like wrote in response to the question "What kind of guy are you looking for?" -- I asked the question btw.
It turns out I am not so qualified, and with me being far away and all that it seems mine is a hopeless case. Another "friend lang" :D. But I wanted to make some comments and maybe present my case (magpaliwanag sa baranggay ika nga)...and I figured the best way to do it is through a similar process of applying for a job.
So here it goes:
Dear Madam:
It has come to my attention that there is an opening for a "Perfect Guy" position and I am very interested. I am not that experienced (most of the positions I handled were temps such as "Meantime Boy", "Gym buddy/Slave", "Friend WITHOUT Benefits", "MU + Textmate + Kuya") but am very motivated and very willing learn if you show me the ropes.
On the specifics of the requirements:
1. Godly. Well, I am an agnostic so I don't believe in the God as presented by the Bible, Koran, Talmud. But this doesn't mean that I live a "god-less" life. I have a great respect and amazement for life, and I make it a point to be at peace with other people. If you let me, I will love you faithfully and persistently. My love will never be perfect, but this does not hinder me to strive for a perfect love - of being patient, and kind, and not harboring a list of wrongs. Of always hoping, persevering and being able to forgive. Of living to a standard that says love never fails. I will fail on everything else, but not on doing everything I can to love you with all that I am.
2. Generous. As a man, I see it and happily accept the duty of providing for my family. It's an awkward question for some people, but I see it as something that should be asked. I will take care of you (not in the DOM way -- "papaaralin kita iha"), that I promise. And I will not undertake activities that will hinder my ability in providing for you and our family.
3. Genius. Well...I don't want to brag but.... Okay okay :D Some changes in perspective had made me to always want to give the best in what I do, in as creative of a way as I can. As a person I just see that life should be lived that way. And relationships too. Genius really is just common sense and persistence...as Einstein would say, "I am not the smartest, I just stayed on the problem longer".
4. Good looking. Patay tayo dyan. Este...pano ba...beauty is in the eye of the beholder :). Give me some time and soon you will succumb to the acquired taste that is prankoyz :P
5. Family background. Well I have a good family I think -- well there's a crazy uncle and auntie or two but I think they will just love you. I come from a broken family though that had just recently started to heal, but having to undergo through that process I think I am more determined that others in keeping the family we make together intact.
So...how about a chance?
It turns out I am not so qualified, and with me being far away and all that it seems mine is a hopeless case. Another "friend lang" :D. But I wanted to make some comments and maybe present my case (magpaliwanag sa baranggay ika nga)...and I figured the best way to do it is through a similar process of applying for a job.
So here it goes:
Dear Madam:
It has come to my attention that there is an opening for a "Perfect Guy" position and I am very interested. I am not that experienced (most of the positions I handled were temps such as "Meantime Boy", "Gym buddy/Slave", "Friend WITHOUT Benefits", "MU + Textmate + Kuya") but am very motivated and very willing learn if you show me the ropes.
On the specifics of the requirements:
1. Godly. Well, I am an agnostic so I don't believe in the God as presented by the Bible, Koran, Talmud. But this doesn't mean that I live a "god-less" life. I have a great respect and amazement for life, and I make it a point to be at peace with other people. If you let me, I will love you faithfully and persistently. My love will never be perfect, but this does not hinder me to strive for a perfect love - of being patient, and kind, and not harboring a list of wrongs. Of always hoping, persevering and being able to forgive. Of living to a standard that says love never fails. I will fail on everything else, but not on doing everything I can to love you with all that I am.
2. Generous. As a man, I see it and happily accept the duty of providing for my family. It's an awkward question for some people, but I see it as something that should be asked. I will take care of you (not in the DOM way -- "papaaralin kita iha"), that I promise. And I will not undertake activities that will hinder my ability in providing for you and our family.
3. Genius. Well...I don't want to brag but.... Okay okay :D Some changes in perspective had made me to always want to give the best in what I do, in as creative of a way as I can. As a person I just see that life should be lived that way. And relationships too. Genius really is just common sense and persistence...as Einstein would say, "I am not the smartest, I just stayed on the problem longer".
4. Good looking. Patay tayo dyan. Este...pano ba...beauty is in the eye of the beholder :). Give me some time and soon you will succumb to the acquired taste that is prankoyz :P
5. Family background. Well I have a good family I think -- well there's a crazy uncle and auntie or two but I think they will just love you. I come from a broken family though that had just recently started to heal, but having to undergo through that process I think I am more determined that others in keeping the family we make together intact.
So...how about a chance?
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Losing is sometimes also gaining
There was a poem in high school which I now barely remember, but the main story was about a man who finally got to appreciate the stars after his roof got blown away (or got burnt down).
Mindanao, where I am from has been suffering from scheduled black-outs due to insufficient power supply. However, I've realized that I've never stared at the moon as often nor as long in such a long long while.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Respect
Respect. It was, and often still is, a contentious issue that arises over certain conflicts concerning the equality (or superiority) of one concept over another. Man vs woman, black vs white, strength vs intelligence. Belief vs unbelief. The list goes on.
It has been a well accepted notion (though a blatant misconception) that respect arises only between equals -- and a tribute of the weak to the strong. Indeed it is easy to respect something you cannot (easily) overcome -- the sun, Mt. Everest, Michael Jordan...the Pacific. Conversely, man (okay...and woman) it seems is pre-dispositioned to abuse something that he thinks is inferior to him -- slaves, pets...nature...newbies in Mafia wars.
Only when respect is borne out of personal conviction that it is truly shared between complementing unequals.
It has been a well accepted notion (though a blatant misconception) that respect arises only between equals -- and a tribute of the weak to the strong. Indeed it is easy to respect something you cannot (easily) overcome -- the sun, Mt. Everest, Michael Jordan...the Pacific. Conversely, man (okay...and woman) it seems is pre-dispositioned to abuse something that he thinks is inferior to him -- slaves, pets...nature...newbies in Mafia wars.
Only when respect is borne out of personal conviction that it is truly shared between complementing unequals.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Give to the needy...
Please donate! A lot of people in Metro Manila are in dire need of help right now.
Be careful with donating though, internet scams heartlessly use these calamities to prey on generous hearts:
The Philippine National Red Cross Web Site
http://www.redcross.org.ph/Site/PNRC/wtd.aspx
Info from Gmanews.tv website:
http://www.gmanews.tv/story/173256/3-drop-off-areas-designated-for-ondoy-victims-donations
Be careful with donating though, internet scams heartlessly use these calamities to prey on generous hearts:
The Philippine National Red Cross Web Site
http://www.redcross.org.ph/Site/PNRC/wtd.aspx
Info from Gmanews.tv website:
http://www.gmanews.tv/story/173256/3-drop-off-areas-designated-for-ondoy-victims-donations
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Constructive learnings
Shared a jeepney ride with 4 construction workers each talking with pride about what they have finished that day. Filled with envy, and eavesdropping at their lively banter, I came up with the following realizations:
1. Eavesdropping is done best at public transportations.
2. All you really have to do to end your day with pride is work the best you can.
3. It doesn't matter that much what you do, but how you do it
1. Eavesdropping is done best at public transportations.
2. All you really have to do to end your day with pride is work the best you can.
3. It doesn't matter that much what you do, but how you do it
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Pinoy pride.
Today Manny Pacquiao defeated (more like a beating) Oscar dela Hoya in their much promoted Dream Match. This victory cemented his status as one of the greatest boxers of our time. This victory will also perhaps mark one of the greatest heights of Pinoy pride.
I can imagine it already, Filipinos like myself walking around chins up, noses pointed high, and with boisterous laughter declare to the world how great we are as shown by our compatriot Manny. Notwithstanding the fact that it is a fallacy to think that one boxer's success reflects the ability of a whole -- and that if the thinking taken to a broader degree disenfranchises all those other Pinoy losers who never achieved any form of success.
But who cares. Today we Filipinos can stand tall and proud--even if tomorrow we go back to our backstabbing, swindling, apathetic, crab-mentality ways.
I can imagine it already, Filipinos like myself walking around chins up, noses pointed high, and with boisterous laughter declare to the world how great we are as shown by our compatriot Manny. Notwithstanding the fact that it is a fallacy to think that one boxer's success reflects the ability of a whole -- and that if the thinking taken to a broader degree disenfranchises all those other Pinoy losers who never achieved any form of success.
But who cares. Today we Filipinos can stand tall and proud--even if tomorrow we go back to our backstabbing, swindling, apathetic, crab-mentality ways.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Laziness is sin...
I haven't written a blog for a long time. Tinatamad eh (the usual excuse..done with a smiley grin..followed by the conventional half-laugh).
Looking back, it seems I have once again wasted another year of my life idling at square one. The game plan this year was to not just excel, but amaze. Amazingly I haven't started just yet. I have enrolled in a gym 4 months ago, and I still weigh the same. I have wanted to apply for patents, but I haven't even typed a single letter in my powerpoint presentation. What the fuck is wrong with me?!?!
I am quite amazed at how other people have that inner drive to do things. How they seem so inspired with life. They give their best at what they do. They have intense energy. Their will and focus unbending. How does one become one of those?
It seems I've become addicted to laziness. And laziness has never failed to bring one to ruin. I'm scared shitless with the direction my life is heading into. Somebody save me please...
Looking back, it seems I have once again wasted another year of my life idling at square one. The game plan this year was to not just excel, but amaze. Amazingly I haven't started just yet. I have enrolled in a gym 4 months ago, and I still weigh the same. I have wanted to apply for patents, but I haven't even typed a single letter in my powerpoint presentation. What the fuck is wrong with me?!?!
I am quite amazed at how other people have that inner drive to do things. How they seem so inspired with life. They give their best at what they do. They have intense energy. Their will and focus unbending. How does one become one of those?
It seems I've become addicted to laziness. And laziness has never failed to bring one to ruin. I'm scared shitless with the direction my life is heading into. Somebody save me please...
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Too Late To Turn Back Now
This is a song I heard only once, but one which touched my heart so much, and left so much emotion in me that I almost choked from the tears I barely held back from view of my most unforgiving friends.
--------
Too Late To Turn Back Now
( Cornelius Brothers and Sister Rose )
My mama told me, she said, "Son, please beware"
"There's this thing called love and it's everywhere"
She told me, "It can break your heart and leave you in misery"
And since I met this little woman,
I feel it's happening to me, and I'm tellin' you
It's too late to turn back now
I believe, I believe, I believe I'm fallin' in love
It's too late to turn back now
I believe, I believe, I believe I'm falling in love
I found myself phoning her at least ten times a day
It's so unusual for me to carry on this way
I tell you ...
I can't sleep at night
Wanting to hold her tight
I've tried so hard to convince myself
That this feeling just can't be right, and I'm tellin' you
It's too late to turn back now
I believe, I believe, I believe I'm fallin' in love
It's too late to turn back now
I believe, I believe, I believe I'm falling in love
It's too late to turn back now
I believe, I believe, I believe I'm falling in love
It's too late, Baby....
Whoa-oh
I wouldn't mind it if I knew she really loved me too
But I hate to think that I'm in love alone and there's nothing that I can do
Whoa
It's too late to turn back now
I believe, I believe, I believe I'm fallin' in love
It's too late to turn back now
I believe, I believe, I believe I'm falling in love
It's too late to turn back now
I believe, I believe, I believe I'm falling in love
It's too late
--------
Sorry...no psycho-babble/analysis for this one. Writer's block.
--------
Too Late To Turn Back Now
( Cornelius Brothers and Sister Rose )
My mama told me, she said, "Son, please beware"
"There's this thing called love and it's everywhere"
She told me, "It can break your heart and leave you in misery"
And since I met this little woman,
I feel it's happening to me, and I'm tellin' you
It's too late to turn back now
I believe, I believe, I believe I'm fallin' in love
It's too late to turn back now
I believe, I believe, I believe I'm falling in love
I found myself phoning her at least ten times a day
It's so unusual for me to carry on this way
I tell you ...
I can't sleep at night
Wanting to hold her tight
I've tried so hard to convince myself
That this feeling just can't be right, and I'm tellin' you
It's too late to turn back now
I believe, I believe, I believe I'm fallin' in love
It's too late to turn back now
I believe, I believe, I believe I'm falling in love
It's too late to turn back now
I believe, I believe, I believe I'm falling in love
It's too late, Baby....
Whoa-oh
I wouldn't mind it if I knew she really loved me too
But I hate to think that I'm in love alone and there's nothing that I can do
Whoa
It's too late to turn back now
I believe, I believe, I believe I'm fallin' in love
It's too late to turn back now
I believe, I believe, I believe I'm falling in love
It's too late to turn back now
I believe, I believe, I believe I'm falling in love
It's too late
--------
Sorry...no psycho-babble/analysis for this one. Writer's block.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Home is where the heart is
After being here in the United States for so long, I am finally going back to the Philippines. Months ago I was very homesick, but now I am saddened to leave because Pasadena feels like my home already.
Just when I have finally adapted to the situation, it changes, and somehow I just feel a tad bit too tired already for starting all over again. I have to worry again about those alleged akyat-bahay neighbors who hit my apartment 2 years ago. I have to commute again with the jeepneys, instead of driving a car which I have been quite gotten accustomed to around here. And second worst of all, I am going back to sleeping in a small apartment with no air-conditioning and television.
The Worst thing of all is that I feel there's no place for me in Manila. It is a very unwelcoming place, unlike her where people greet you in the elevators, and strangers often smile to each other down the hallway. Where people open the doors for you, wait for you in the elevator, and treat you out on you birthday instead of the other way around (typical Filipino custom). In Manila, people just keep on complaining of what they don't have, what they should have, and even the things they are lucky to have that others don't. I hate Manila; somethinh I realized today, when the truth of coming home finally sank in on me.
Ok, maybe that is not the entire truth. Another side of the story I guess is that there's no girl I am going back to in Manila; and that perhaps more than anything else saps my energy and sense of purpose. I am bringing my meaningless existence back to a place that sucks. At least here, TV and Lego occupies my time.
Somehow I don't just feel like going back. But I must, and that alleviates some burden while adding some more too.
Just when I have finally adapted to the situation, it changes, and somehow I just feel a tad bit too tired already for starting all over again. I have to worry again about those alleged akyat-bahay neighbors who hit my apartment 2 years ago. I have to commute again with the jeepneys, instead of driving a car which I have been quite gotten accustomed to around here. And second worst of all, I am going back to sleeping in a small apartment with no air-conditioning and television.
The Worst thing of all is that I feel there's no place for me in Manila. It is a very unwelcoming place, unlike her where people greet you in the elevators, and strangers often smile to each other down the hallway. Where people open the doors for you, wait for you in the elevator, and treat you out on you birthday instead of the other way around (typical Filipino custom). In Manila, people just keep on complaining of what they don't have, what they should have, and even the things they are lucky to have that others don't. I hate Manila; somethinh I realized today, when the truth of coming home finally sank in on me.
Ok, maybe that is not the entire truth. Another side of the story I guess is that there's no girl I am going back to in Manila; and that perhaps more than anything else saps my energy and sense of purpose. I am bringing my meaningless existence back to a place that sucks. At least here, TV and Lego occupies my time.
Somehow I don't just feel like going back. But I must, and that alleviates some burden while adding some more too.
Friday, November 17, 2006
Writer's block
For weeks now I have been trying to write something really meaningful on this blog, but somehow I have never been able to produce. I can't really pinpoint the reason as to what is wrong, perhaps because there is nothing wrong, or there are just too many. I've been trying to put my mood into that which makes my hand an extension of my thoughts, but I always end up feeling some kind of void, an emptiness; I just can't seem to find that kind of passion that used to keep me going for hours, just expressing my thoughts. What's wrong with me? Perhaps this is the real me, and I simply have moments of inspiration which drives me to do something that I normally do not do.
I guess I am depressed in a bit. Alot of things are happening all around me that I can't keep up with; and being the control freak that I am I feel so inadequate, and perhaps outdated I guess. There are times I feel that I have burnt out my flame even before I even began to shine.
Well anyways, since this is the case, I guess I'll just do some plain story telling, instead of the usual philosophical approach.
There was this girl (those who know me know this line very well) I met 9 months back. She was pretty, somewhat shy, but quite a bit hmmm..how do you call that...masungit (stern?) in a way. I was smitten immediately. Oh, just to not leave anything out, I should also mention that she has a very hot body.
My typical romance is I fall for a girl, I try to become friends with her, we become close, I hint to her my feelings, she avoids me, I bang my head against the wall, we never talk to each other again. This one went like the playbook. The usual shy meeting, the moments I tell myself I'll never get to know her, the typical coincidence of meeting her somewhere, where the conversation and my hopeless romance began.
After weeks of just taking glances at her, I got to get to talk to her from time to time. And everytime I speak to her, my attraction just grows more and more. Heck, I even tried to learn Mandarin just to find a way to talk to her. such are my futile attempts to chase a star, the edge of the rainbow, the 7th heaven, or whatever what-cha-ma-call-it you have in your preferred metaphors. Of course all these ended up to nothing, and the moment she had to go back home to Taiwan after the project I was really saddened. I have never even got close to something memorable or defining with her. All I have are meaningless encounters (not those encounters I'm sure some of you immediately thought of) at the pantry, the doorway, or even the hollywoodish like parking lot scenario. I hated myself then because I was not ready to met her in the first place, and now she is gone. I knew I would never see her again.
Until two weeks ago, when she came back. And she was even more beautful this time. And her smiles, and laughter, and facial expressions just brought me back to the hole I dug myself into months ago. It was like de ja vu in some ways as I thought that this time we will never be talking as we used to. But talk we did, lots of talks more, in the two weeks that she has been here than the months I was given the first time. This is a second chance, I knew, and again a chance I was not prepared to take.
Who would have thought that I would get to have another chance of seeing someone I thought would never see again. And now it breaks my heart even more, as everyday I get to see someone who without effort dictates the motions of my heart, as if every beat is a moment that requires her permission to exist. Two weeks, and I knew that I would have two more weeks to enjoy the melody that I surprisingly found in her voice--that is until today, when I was told that I would be going home earlier than expected. My heart broke today, because the impending darkness that I knew would once again take over my life has come earlier that what I would have liked. It is like looking at a sunset in the northern skies this time of year, short but very beautiful, and just when you are starting to savor and bask at the gentle rays being reflected by the mountains serving as canvass to this wonderful painting, a thick fog suddenly appears to precede the eventual darkness.
I hate this day. And I love it too. It is more precious than the rest, though more fleeting too.
I hate my love story, and even this is debatable on whether this is truly about love. But with love having so many obscure meanings and descriptions, I would not be so different in calling this one having a definition of my own. I fell in love, no matter how shallow that sounds, to a girl whose smile and laughter breaks my heart everytime.
Darkness consume me now, for your cold embrace could no longer give pain much much stronger than what I am already in.
And that ends my fits of anger and depression...I feel much better now, and am ready to fall in love again for the first time. Hahaha...some say I sound like a drug addict, someone needing rehabilitation and psychological treatment. Some say I just need to get laid pretty bad. :P
Till my next writer's block.
I guess I am depressed in a bit. Alot of things are happening all around me that I can't keep up with; and being the control freak that I am I feel so inadequate, and perhaps outdated I guess. There are times I feel that I have burnt out my flame even before I even began to shine.
Well anyways, since this is the case, I guess I'll just do some plain story telling, instead of the usual philosophical approach.
There was this girl (those who know me know this line very well) I met 9 months back. She was pretty, somewhat shy, but quite a bit hmmm..how do you call that...masungit (stern?) in a way. I was smitten immediately. Oh, just to not leave anything out, I should also mention that she has a very hot body.
My typical romance is I fall for a girl, I try to become friends with her, we become close, I hint to her my feelings, she avoids me, I bang my head against the wall, we never talk to each other again. This one went like the playbook. The usual shy meeting, the moments I tell myself I'll never get to know her, the typical coincidence of meeting her somewhere, where the conversation and my hopeless romance began.
After weeks of just taking glances at her, I got to get to talk to her from time to time. And everytime I speak to her, my attraction just grows more and more. Heck, I even tried to learn Mandarin just to find a way to talk to her. such are my futile attempts to chase a star, the edge of the rainbow, the 7th heaven, or whatever what-cha-ma-call-it you have in your preferred metaphors. Of course all these ended up to nothing, and the moment she had to go back home to Taiwan after the project I was really saddened. I have never even got close to something memorable or defining with her. All I have are meaningless encounters (not those encounters I'm sure some of you immediately thought of) at the pantry, the doorway, or even the hollywoodish like parking lot scenario. I hated myself then because I was not ready to met her in the first place, and now she is gone. I knew I would never see her again.
Until two weeks ago, when she came back. And she was even more beautful this time. And her smiles, and laughter, and facial expressions just brought me back to the hole I dug myself into months ago. It was like de ja vu in some ways as I thought that this time we will never be talking as we used to. But talk we did, lots of talks more, in the two weeks that she has been here than the months I was given the first time. This is a second chance, I knew, and again a chance I was not prepared to take.
Who would have thought that I would get to have another chance of seeing someone I thought would never see again. And now it breaks my heart even more, as everyday I get to see someone who without effort dictates the motions of my heart, as if every beat is a moment that requires her permission to exist. Two weeks, and I knew that I would have two more weeks to enjoy the melody that I surprisingly found in her voice--that is until today, when I was told that I would be going home earlier than expected. My heart broke today, because the impending darkness that I knew would once again take over my life has come earlier that what I would have liked. It is like looking at a sunset in the northern skies this time of year, short but very beautiful, and just when you are starting to savor and bask at the gentle rays being reflected by the mountains serving as canvass to this wonderful painting, a thick fog suddenly appears to precede the eventual darkness.
I hate this day. And I love it too. It is more precious than the rest, though more fleeting too.
I hate my love story, and even this is debatable on whether this is truly about love. But with love having so many obscure meanings and descriptions, I would not be so different in calling this one having a definition of my own. I fell in love, no matter how shallow that sounds, to a girl whose smile and laughter breaks my heart everytime.
Darkness consume me now, for your cold embrace could no longer give pain much much stronger than what I am already in.
And that ends my fits of anger and depression...I feel much better now, and am ready to fall in love again for the first time. Hahaha...some say I sound like a drug addict, someone needing rehabilitation and psychological treatment. Some say I just need to get laid pretty bad. :P
Till my next writer's block.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
People Whisperer
One of the more popular shows in US television nowadays is the National Geographic feature Dog Whisperer. In the show, dog behaviorist Ceasar Millan goes to from home to home helping dog owners fix their dog--no,no, not that "fix" kind. He is a not a dog castrationist; besides in the US even when you are a dog, you don't get your thing cut-off by simply misbehaving. By fix, I mean cure their dogs of their problematic behavior.
It was funny to see all those dogs giving their owners problems. There was one, a pit bull, who is just scared of anything (some good guard dog he is). Another, a chihuahua, bites anyone who goes near his man owner. My favorite one, a beagle, is quite a drag literally. He gets depressed all the time and that he just lays down and never moves. His owner has to drag or carry him just to get him anywhere.
For almost every case, the owners were thinking that they were in a hopeless situation. But as soon as Cesar comes in the picture he immediately gets results. Almost everyone were surprised by how easy it was for him to do it. And how easy it was what he did.
Cesar's method is very simple and is summarized as: be the pack leader. Oftentimes the problem is not the dog but the owner. And in the show, it can be seen that Ceasar is more often than not, fixing the owners than the animals. Dogs he say, are very simple creatures and that they need a leader to get them in control, or they will handle things themselves, the dog-eat-dog way. And so in the sessions that they were performing, Cesar was teaching the owners how to become leaders: how to be calm and dominant, confident, and in-control of the situation. He is showing them that dogs misbehave because the owners let them get away with it; and that if they want their dogs to be behaving better they need to let the animals know how things should be. The results are amazing: both the dogs and the owner really become better.
There is also one tenet in his show (which has caused some controversy resulting into criticism and even condemnation from organizations such as the American Humane Association): treat dogs as dogs. Which I whole-heartedly agree. Which of course doesn't mean I could maltreat a dog anytime I want. Dogs are wonderful animals, and very loyal, but to treat them almost to the point of being like human beings is just too much (dogs are almost like gods here!). Dogs and humans think differently, and that how you treat a human being should be different from how you treat a dog. In fact I want to take that tenet to a higher level: treat things the way they are (dogs, humans, situations, etc). The reason people never get past a problem is they do not see things the way those things should be seen.
In the show, I learned that dogs are similar to people (and vice versa). They also have insecurities, which often result to behaviors showing aggression, fear, or dominance. And that in general, they need a leader (in their case a "pack leader") who will make them calm, secure, and well behaved.
Cesar Millan's show is called the Dog Whisperer, but I think he is a people whisperer too. And the work he is doing is something worth doing, even though most of what he gets out of it are hugs from his female clients (which is awesome, since he has alot of celebrity clients. The hug he gave to Denise Richards in one episode seemed to be to be a split second longer than usual).
It was funny to see all those dogs giving their owners problems. There was one, a pit bull, who is just scared of anything (some good guard dog he is). Another, a chihuahua, bites anyone who goes near his man owner. My favorite one, a beagle, is quite a drag literally. He gets depressed all the time and that he just lays down and never moves. His owner has to drag or carry him just to get him anywhere.
For almost every case, the owners were thinking that they were in a hopeless situation. But as soon as Cesar comes in the picture he immediately gets results. Almost everyone were surprised by how easy it was for him to do it. And how easy it was what he did.
Cesar's method is very simple and is summarized as: be the pack leader. Oftentimes the problem is not the dog but the owner. And in the show, it can be seen that Ceasar is more often than not, fixing the owners than the animals. Dogs he say, are very simple creatures and that they need a leader to get them in control, or they will handle things themselves, the dog-eat-dog way. And so in the sessions that they were performing, Cesar was teaching the owners how to become leaders: how to be calm and dominant, confident, and in-control of the situation. He is showing them that dogs misbehave because the owners let them get away with it; and that if they want their dogs to be behaving better they need to let the animals know how things should be. The results are amazing: both the dogs and the owner really become better.
There is also one tenet in his show (which has caused some controversy resulting into criticism and even condemnation from organizations such as the American Humane Association): treat dogs as dogs. Which I whole-heartedly agree. Which of course doesn't mean I could maltreat a dog anytime I want. Dogs are wonderful animals, and very loyal, but to treat them almost to the point of being like human beings is just too much (dogs are almost like gods here!). Dogs and humans think differently, and that how you treat a human being should be different from how you treat a dog. In fact I want to take that tenet to a higher level: treat things the way they are (dogs, humans, situations, etc). The reason people never get past a problem is they do not see things the way those things should be seen.
In the show, I learned that dogs are similar to people (and vice versa). They also have insecurities, which often result to behaviors showing aggression, fear, or dominance. And that in general, they need a leader (in their case a "pack leader") who will make them calm, secure, and well behaved.
Cesar Millan's show is called the Dog Whisperer, but I think he is a people whisperer too. And the work he is doing is something worth doing, even though most of what he gets out of it are hugs from his female clients (which is awesome, since he has alot of celebrity clients. The hug he gave to Denise Richards in one episode seemed to be to be a split second longer than usual).
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